Capitalism seems to be a focus of worship in the United States; from it springs both good and evil. The essence of capitalism is freedom of commerce, and the freedom of each person to pursue his or her own self-interest. Theoretically, when each individual or corporation pursues its own self -interest, it benefits society as a whole, because in pursuing his or her own self-interest, a person or corporation also benefits society. This only works when the entity pursues its long-term interests. When individuals and corporations are focused on short-term interests the results can be disastrous as the melt down in the mortgage market demonstrates. Unfortunately, most people tend to focus on their short-term interests. People have a tendency to pursue instant gratification rather than wait for a better reward in the future. The same happens on the corporate level: corporations are a conglomeration of people and often will amplify the decisions of the powerful people in the corporation.

Freud had a term for the inability to wait for future gratification. He called it the "id," the animal part of our being. Christian theology also has a name for this: "sin nature." It is easier to chase the desires of the flesh rather than to discipline oneself to gain a greater reward. In some cases, people can squelch some desires and live a disciplined life, but still have a desire of gain so great that they build wealth or power by crushing those weaker than themselves. This discipline does not mean the individual has developed the ego and superego, but instead that the person has channeled the id into a dangerous force. This is the type person that M. Scott Peck calls a "person of the lie."

What is one to think about capitalism? Is it a bad thing? No. Capitalism and freedom in general enrich a society in both tangible and intangible ways. The question is, how are we to deal with human nature? A mature person who recognizes that it is better for his or her company to treat employees well and not cheat customers benefits society. The individual who does the opposite takes society one step closer to destruction. In Western society, governments use regulation in an attempt to force mature behavior. Unfortunately this often results in even more damaging actions when those in powerful economic positions find ways to skirt the law. The hope for capitalism (and society in general) is for individuals to behave as adults rather than children, develop empathy, and learn to work for future reward. How can this come about? It seems impossible. Even people who claim to be Christians often behave as children, lacking personal discipline. Have these people really received a new nature? The whole of society would have to change for American people to grow up.

Changes, changes, and more changes. The end of the semester is almost upon me, and I look forward to a busy Christmas break. I now spend almost as much time at the horse barn as I do in class. I am part of the barrel racing team, and am training one of the school horses to barrel race. This is a great opportunity that would not be available to graduate students at most schools, but since we compete in open barrel shows even grad students can participate. Hopefully next month I can start competing. It will take time to develop my skills and my horse's skills to the point where we are a strong competitive team. I'm thinking about getting a horse of my own to train so I don't put all this time into a horse belonging to the school just to leave him behind when I graduate. I really do enjoy working with Redheart though. He was very green when I started working with him at the beginning of September and is really starting to respond and become a very good riding horse. He still has a lot to learn, however, and will not be a beginner's horse for a very long time.

In other news... I am now seeing someone very special. Geoff is a few years older than me (not nearly so much older than me as Ronnie), and is an incredibly good listener, very empathetic, and just a good guy all around. He currently lives a few hours away from me so we take turns visiting. I feel very blessed to have him in my life. He is helping me heal from past hurts that I never knew I had until I had someone who wanted to listen to me rather than expecting me to do all the listening. It's really an incredible feeling to be in a relationship like this where there is give and take on both sides.

It's nice to be an independent woman, but it is better to be an independent woman with an empathetic man to walk beside. Humans were not intended to live alone, and two people walking side by side supporting each other can find great happiness.

Why are truly independent women so rare in the "land of the free"? Why do women buy the line "you have to be sexy to be loved"? Why do women not see that they have to find their own way to happiness, they can never receive happiness from depending on the love of a man?

I think that in the USA women are conditioned through our society to believe that the only way to get love is to attract him physically. What else do they see on TV? Sure there are movies and shows out there about strong women, but what do the majority of shows and movies focus on? We see the fall out from these attitudes in younger and younger girls, many of whom are growing up in a single parent home or in a blended family. These girls do not know the healthy affection of a father. They seek affection where they can find it through trying to fit in with their peers, and then in high school (or before!) trying to get the attention of boys. Why are Bratz dolls so popular? They are merely a reflection of our society.

Women are being exploited today every bit as much as we were exploited before the days of suffrage, only now much of the exploitation is at least partially voluntary. I say "partially" because many of the women being exploited don't know any better. They don't know how to find meaning for themselves outside of a man. They go from abusive relationship to abusive relationship and just become more and more miserable.

What will it take to create a society when women realize that they don't have to be mere sex-objects, but can make independent choices for themselves that will bring them fulfillment and happiness? What will it take for women in America to shake of the bondage of sexism? What will it take for women to learn to stand up for themselves and find strength within?

Right now it is a minority of women who take advantage of their freedom to pursue success in life. What will it take for them to become role models instead of people like Paris Hilton and Brittany Spears? When will society hold up Nancy Pelosi,and  Condoleeza Rice as models of womanhood instead of of celebrities with messed up lives? When will Geraldine Ferraro and Sarah Palin be honored by the average American woman?